“I learned it from my husband” is a regular tribute to all the ways my husband is fulfilling his role in my sanctification process as described in Ephesians 5:25-26 “…cleansing her by the washing of water with the word.”
It has also been a journey for me to understand that while I learn from him, I am always using scripture as my source for discernment on what is true. As I wrote last week, he opened my eyes to the importance of accurate biblical and systematic theology, and that understanding is at the foundation of every lesson learned from him.
I wanted to address these things because the last thing I would want someone to conclude from this series (or my series on submission) is that I am a blind follower, or that I am somehow being manipulated or brainwashed to accept my husband’s teaching as true and good. As a women with a feminist background, I am well aware of the many opposing views on gender roles within marriage, and I recognize that embracing the words of Ephesians 5:25-26 is extremely counter-cultural. This awareness has left me thinking about how my past professors of feminist theory would react if they read the things I was writing at this stage of my life. It has left me thinking about how I would react if I were reading this blog as my former self. They [including former self] would without a doubt conclude that I was in a controlling, male-dominated relationship. They would classify me as “oppressed” for embracing such conservative views of man and wife. It is by the grace of God that I now know the freedom and peace there is in living life for Him and according to His standards, especially in our marriage.
Thinking about these things has brought me to share the next important lesson I have learned from my husband, and it comes out of 1 Thessalonians (A book I have been enjoying much lately.) Consider 1 Thessalonians 5:19-22:
“Do not quench the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil.”
If there is one thing that my husband has consistently taught me, it is this: test everything. He is a great example for me of someone who truly seeks to discern what is good from what is evil through the lens of scripture. He is the last person in the world that would want me to listen to his teaching and follow it without intentionally discerning that it was in line with biblical truth. He does not desire to be my moral compass or my source for all that is true and good. He desires my compass to be the Holy Word and the Spirit of God, and to do everything he can to point me to those things in a faithful way.
All of this to say, while I trust my husband’s teaching, I am also a critical thinker and I do what I can to keep him on his toes. I ask questions, raise objections, challenge assumptions, and let him know when what he is saying seems inconsistent with what God has shown me in scripture. I will admit, though, I am rarely the one who is right when it comes to a disagreement on God’s Word. It took me several years of stubbornness and pride to admit this and recognize that I am indeed the weaker vessel when it comes to biblical understanding.
My husband has taught me to test everything and be sure it aligns with the truth of the Bible. I am careful to remember this in whatever context I am learning, even when it comes to learning from my husband.